It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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