Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
