How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
