Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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