i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
