Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You may now shotgun with the bride
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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