flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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