Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
