I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
