good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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