you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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