I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
