Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
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It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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