Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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