you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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