We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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