i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
