He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize