his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
