at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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