that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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