dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
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