There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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