just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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