So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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