We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
