another moral hangover. fuck.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
