airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
