i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
