wakey wakey hands off snakey
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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