K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
