Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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