My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize