and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
