Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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