also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
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Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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