omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
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Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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