I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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