The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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