did you get engaged???
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
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I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
