I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
