Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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