I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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