I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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