HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
