Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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