Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
