Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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