I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I look better un-naked...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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