Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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