i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
