If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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