If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He kissed a someone with a penis
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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