Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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