We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
