when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real