so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.