She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.