I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im holly from the hills drunk
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Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.