i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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