what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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