i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
