I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
