She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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