Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
