Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
