My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
